I first heard about the Zumio via the ETO website in June 2017 and I was immediately fascinated. The promised ‘orgasms in less than a minute’ may have had something to do with that – I’m a very busy woman. It also looked kind of quirky, less like a sex toy and more like some sort of stylus or probe. I’m not the most technologically adept, but weirdly I am a sucker for a cool looking gadget.
My fascination was further piqued by the ‘Spiro Tip’, which purports to “whirl round in tiny circles, applying pulses to one small area at a time”. (I do enjoy a buzzword, so to speak). Long story short, I left the Eropartner stand at EroFame 2017 with a shiny new Zumio Classic box, some helpful advice, and a feeling of anticipatory delight.
I’ve mentioned before about disparity that rages within me regarding packaging, and with this product, that gulf has never been so wide. Zumio has managed to design packaging which looks simple, yet luxurious and it is screaming at my internal eco-warrior to shut up.
The thinner external shell box is white with a lovely holographic swirl design and information printed in French, English and Spanish. This surrounds the sturdy, purple and white inner box which in turn houses the Zumio, charge pod, cable and silky white drawstring storage bag.
Zumio Classic In Use:
I hadn’t used anything quite like the Zumio Classic before, and as I said I was intrigued, enough to try and research as much as possible before physically acquainting myself. Apparently the Zumio was invented by a busy single mother of young children, who wanted to achieve orgasm during those rare moments she managed to find to herself but according to the company backstory, none of the other products she had tried had the deep stimulation, precise control or power she required. The designers took all of these things into consideration, together with the fact that many women use a circular fingertip motion during masturbation, and three years later the Zumio was launched.
My first impressions were just how light and petite it was, the whole product is 17.7 cm long with a diameter of 3.2cm, and weighs just 74.8 grams which may be good news for those with mobility issues. I also quite like the fact that the Zumio only comes in two shades of purple, darker for the Classic, or a lighter shade for the Caress. It’s ungendered and for my personal needs, the colour of an item is fairly superfluous.
It’s made from body-safe materials; ABS, with a section around the power buttons coated in non-slip, medical grade silicone. The controls are simple to use, having a single click power button and an infinity symbol embossed into the silicone to increase/decrease the power level. There is only one pattern vibration with eight levels of intensity. I was pleasantly surprised that my hand didn’t become numb from the powerful vibrations, and despite the power it wasn’t half as loud as I expected it to be.
Charging the Zumio Classic is a very easy but surprisingly lengthy process; it can take up to 16 hours to gain a full charge and provides up to four hours of usage. There is an orange LED which blinks while charging and is static when complete. The vibe sits within the charging pod, which in turn hooks up to a USB cable. I’m not sure if it’s just me but there’s something vaguely futuristic about inductive chargers and I always get a kick out of products that use this technology.
I read so many positive Zumio Classic reviews, it was a genuine concern that I’d never leave the house again. But I’m nothing if not selfless so I dimmed the lights, put on some Barry White and prepared to have my world propelled straight from its axis in the name of research. And hot damn! The reviews were entirely correct; it is an incredibly powerful toy, especially for its size. In fact, for me I think it’s a little too powerful.
I’m not a power queen as they say and it seems that I’m a delicate flower, or I at least have one. I followed the excellent tips and advice given to me by the Zumio team at EroFame and I found the ABS tip was a little unforgiving on the more sensitive inner areas of my vulva and clitoris, even on the lowest setting.
I was initially downcast because there’s so much to love about this product and I was convinced that I would. Then I remembered the Marin
es motto: “Improvise, adapt, overcome” and that dear readers, is exactly what I did. After further experimentation, I discovered that the vibrations of the Spiro Tip were really penetrating, so much so that I could orgasm by pressing the tip against the side of my clitoris but externally through my labia. It wasn’t quite the speedy process achieved by some of the reviews I read, but it took less than ten minutes and was thoroughly satisfying.
There are two versions of the Zumio though, not just the Classic which I tried. The Caress (pictured right) has a shorter, softer tip and a lower power range, so that might be a better option for those who require a little less oomph. Watch this space!
I think the size and weight of this item in comparison with the intensity of its vibrations is astonishing, it’s also nice and slim and has a lock facility so could be stowed discreetly away for travel fairly easily. It’s really easy to clean, and comes with a 12-month warranty.
The quality and design of the product and the packaging are excellent; if your budget will allow it, it would make a lovely gift to spoil a partner with, retailing at £120. POS is available, comprising of an LED lighted display case, an acrylic stand that holds a test unit each of Zumio Classic and Zumio Caress, a tether kit for loss prevention, charger, USB charging cables and adapters and consumer information cards. Retailers also have access to a digital asset library for website and print including product images, banner artwork, product descriptions, videos as well as training guides and demonstration videos.
I’m so glad I found a way to make this toy work for me, because I think a lot of time and energy has gone into the design and production and I love the company ethos with regards to the environment – an issue which I think is becoming increasingly important to consumers every day.
The Zumio Classic is excellently designed and produced and it’s most definitely a high-end product, which is reflected in the price tag. It’s not the cheapest vibe on the market but if power is your thing, then I’d say this is a very worthwhile investment.
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